7 stages

I admit, I am having a difficult time accepting my allergies.  Discovering at age 37 that you are allergic to peanuts, soybeans and all the other legumes, that you can't tolerate gluten, that your mouth is going to feel like it's being tortured if you eat fruit, and that stepping outside is going to wreak havoc on your body, is not easy to accept.  When did I go from "normal" to allergic?  How did this happen, and why now?  It didn't seem real.

Step 1: Denial.  If I was fine a couple of months ago, then why can't I just have one bowl of cereal today? I'll be fine, the doctor said I should keep eating the things I'm allergic to, to keep up my tolerance. That must mean I'm not "that bad." 

What I've put together from my doctor's advice and articles online is that the body craves the things we are so allergic to in an effort to maintain some level of tolerance.  This would explain why I literally ate soybeans and peanuts all the time in the six months or more prior to my allergy testing.  My favorite meal had become Huevos Rancheros, I loved the beans we used. I could always eat spaghetti or pizza even when I was full. I had recently added lentil soups to my recipe lineup even though nobody in the house ever liked lentils.

Step 2:  Guilt.  I have a hard time justifying the effort I put into choosing foods.  I feel like I'm just being dramatic when I say, "I can't eat that."  My long-time friend came to visit last week, and brought with him a 6-pack of a nice IPA.  I had to say, "Beer has wheat." I didn't want to say it, I was going to just politely decline for some other reason, but it had been so long since we all had a beer together that I had to explain why.  I felt like as coming off as  pretentious.  I check every label and I say out loud if I can or cannot have something and why, so that everyone can be aware.  I feel sometimes that I'm making an unnecessarily big deal out of ingredients.  I feel like I'm harassing everyone with my food restrictions. More-so, I struggle with the choice of either buying gluten-free and/or soy-free substitutes for foods I like or just skipping them all together.  Should I get gluten-free brownie mix, or just pass on brownies? I feel guilty buying GF foods just because they're labeled GF. I don't need brownies.  When I have to decide,  I just skip the food.  The new problem becomes nutrition.  We do need grains. We need fruits and vegetables.  We need a well rounded diet, even some fat.   It's tough to rationalize buying specialty foods though, when we have so many other options.   I have an especially hard time when I'm out for the day, or when I'm hungry between meals.  I'm tempted to nibble on one of my son's cookies or a granola bar from the checkout lane at the store.  Then, I preemptively feel guilty for the damage one little bite could do and I drop the craving all together.

Step 3:  Bargaining, depression.  I need a treat!  I'd settle for a bit of chocolate, it doesn't have to be gluten product (but the soy lecithin bothers my stomach).  When I'm hungry, I rationalize that one bite won't hurt because it didn't hurt before.  In reality it did hurt before, I just didn't realize it was caused by food.  Every time I ate something my stomach bloated and I had stomach pains, I was always lethargic, my face was covered in acne.  My husband had been pushing me to figure out why I was always tired. I wasn't just tired, I was exhausted, drained, beat.  My answer to him was that I've always been tired, as long as I can remember.  I tried everything for my skin and assumed it would never get better.  Now I am irritated with the hassle I have to put other people through if we want to eat out or have some drinks and my anger at the gluten eating world drove me to start this blog.   I wouldn't say I was depressed, but I did feel some "woe-is-me."  I felt left out.  Everyone else is going about their day with donuts, waffles, birthday cakes, hamburgers, pasta, instead of really hearing me when I explain my problem.   People don't understand.  It's tough to get through.

Step 4:  Reflection.  Millions of people have or will have medical problems.  While I'm grateful that my only big problem is food, for which I can actively make safe choices, I realize that this is my new lifestyle. Forever.  I have to be aware of what I'm touching, drinking and eating, my utensils, how foods were prepared, what's meant by "natural flavors" in an ingredient list.  I'm not sure yet how careful I really have to be;  can we still keep bags of flour in the pantry and can I hand breaded chicken nuggets to my son?  I have to embarrass myself and tactfully ask people specific questions about the food they offer me.  Do I have to bring my own food to Thanksgiving dinner?  I can't chance gluten contamination.  I'm going to carefully grow old on a very specific diet, or risk dying of anaphylactic shock or some Celiac related complication.  It's just food, but it's a very dangerous problem.  I don't just sneeze around cats, I have a life-threatening illness.  Worse, my children are at risk too (I'm still back at denial on this topic).

Steps 5 and 6:  The upward turn, reconstruction and working through.  I can do this.  With the internet and a wealth of books, I can figure out how to eat well without having to make a lot of substitutions.  I love to cook.  I can create my own recipes and share them with other people in my situation.  I will continue to scour the web for resources and share what I find.  My dreadful, life altering test results have sparked a new hobby and hopefully it will help others too.  I am grateful that I have the resources, the time, the money, the ability to move forward in a positive way.

Step 7:  Acceptance and hope.  I am relatively healthy.  If I make good choices, I will stay healthy.  If I take my antihistamine every day, the pollens won't bother me.  If I read labels and prepare my own food when possible, I will get proper nutrition.  Even better, my family will learn good eating habits from me.

I feel better now than I've ever felt before. I have consistent energy, I am happy, I have great skin and a new sense of self-confidence.  I can use my learning process to do good for others.  My family supports me and I know this journey will be enlightening.  It's not the proverbial end but the beginning of a new chapter of my life.

Christine Trice - Entrepreneur Extraordinaire

I have a day off today, what a treat.  Unfortunately it's already pretty hot outside and my kids are not cooperating in my effort to get out the door before the temperature peaks.

I multi-tasked in an extreme way this morning (in a fruitless effort to get out early), like any good super-mom would:  I updated my Etsy shop, replied to some emails, uploaded a photo album on Facebook, tweeted some product info and chatted with my husband via Google chat, all over a plate of corn tortillas topped with fried eggs, cheese and salsa.  My 4 year-old son, in the mean time, would not take his pajamas off and was impressively attempting to negotiate his way out of breakfast.  He got away with a whole grain cereal bar, fruit and a cup of milk.   He thought he won.  Speaking of being a super-mom and multitasking, I'm featuring two businesses today from a great woman I've known since high school.

Christine's daughter suffered from terrible eczema, and nothing prescribed or purchased was helping, so she created her own body butter.  On the product website she says, "I became an avid label reader. I learned how to decipher ingredient labels, how to pick out toxic ingredients & irritants that were disguised even in natural & organic products. I learned how manufacturing processes affect the integrity of products & how harmful parabens really are. And finally, I learned that I was beyond disappointed with the lack products that were truly natural & consistently results oriented."  She goes on, "When all else failed, I resorted to using my personal arsenal of lotions & potions to remedy my baby girl’s skin condition. Within only a few days after the first application, her skin began to heal. The eczema that covered most of her body for over six months was finally at bay."   From there, she created a line of natural body products, Brown Bag Botanicals.  Visit her site and friend her on Facebook for updates on products and specials.

Recognizing that many moms have to go above and beyond on a regular basis, Christine jokingly created the Facebook page OMG I So Need A Glass Of Wine Or I'm Gonna Sell My Kids!  Today she has 112,333 fans, not counting non-Facebook followers. She holds events in California, samples and shares wines from all over, and shares hilarious mom-moments via status updates. Grab some of her OMG logo wine glasses and join the rest of us in admitting that it does get hard sometimes to balance real life...


...especially when you're allergic.

Black Bean and Tomato Quinoa or Quinoa Tabbouleh

This is a protein-packed recipe I picked up at Sunflower. I've made it a few times now, and each time it's a big hit. This works alone as a salad or on top of little toasts or crackers.  Add diced cucumber and/or a handful of chopped fresh mint and you've got a quinoa tabbouleh.

I reduce the onions to just a the top of one, but if you like onions and don't mind the lingering after-effect, this tastes great with the whole bunch.

Ingredients:
1 cup quinoa, dry
2 cups cooked black beans or 1 can (rinsed)
1 small box sweet cherry tomatoes, halved
1 bunch green onions, chopped
1 bunch cilantro, chopped
1 bunch flat leaf parsley, chopped
1 fresh squeezed lemon
1 fresh squeezed lime
extra virgin olive oil
sea salt and pepper to taste

Directions:
Prepare 1 cup dry quinoa according to package directions. Place cooked quinoa in a large bowl, add cooked black beans, tomatoes, green onions, cilantro and parsley. Squeeze the fresh lemon and lime juice into the bowl. Pour in olive oil to coat. Add sea salt and pepper to taste. Mix well.

Voila! You've got a healthy meal with fresh, bright flavors. This is really quick to whip up if you've got the ingredients on hand, and a perfect cure to the I-can't-eat-that blues. I don't know how many times I find myself feeling hungry and frustrated, eyeing the kids' Oreos, and then I have to start piecing together something gluten-free, soy-free, legume-free (I omit the beans in this salad when I make it for myself), and without mysterious "natural flavors."  This dish is satisfying and easy, a good choice to take to work for lunch, or a picnic or barbecue contribution that everyone will enjoy.

Quinoa Flour Cupcakes

I've scouring the web again for more dessert recipes. I ordered some gluten-free flour from Amazon.com this morning (not from bean flours) but I couldn't wait until it arrives. I had some quinoa so I went with a recipe that fit what was in my pantry. Unfortunately, I had to first toast the quinoa and then blend it into a flour, but it was worth it for some chocolate gratification.

Sour Cream Fudge Cupcakes from Ancient Harvest Quinoa Corporation

¼ cup butter (or margarine)
½ cup water
¼ cup cocoa powder
1 cup sugar
1 ¼ cup quinoa flour
½ teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt (optional)
2 eggs, separated
1 teaspoon vanilla
¼ cup sour cream

Preheat oven to 375˚. Place butter and water in saucepan. Bring to boil, remove from heat and whisk in the cocoa powder. Sift together the sugar, quinoa flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Add the cooled cocoa mixture, egg yolks, vanilla, and sour cream and blend well. Beat the egg whites until stiff but not dry. Fold into batter. Spoon into muffin tin lined with paper cupcake liners. Bake for 20 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.

Makes 12 cupcakes

"Natural" cleansers, and other hidden dangers.

Unrefined Shea butter from Ghana

A couple of years ago I had a small Tibetan phrase, a mantra of compassion, tattooed on the inside of my left wrist. I had no problems with the tattoo, it healed perfectly and it looks great.   When I got started on my second tattoo, a Chinese dragon, I was shocked that I had such a hard time healing.  Two days after the first session, I had a small rash on the inside of my arm that stayed away from the inked area.  It took nearly three weeks to go away, it itched and left behind some hyperpigmented spots.  I'm used to that. I put some salicylic acid on the spots to help them fade... more on that in a minute.  I deduced that I must have picked something up a virus or something at the skating rink that weekend and didn't think about the rash again.

After the second session,  I made an extra effort to be especially diligent about aftercare.  Again, I got a rash, only this time it covered my upper arm from my elbow to my neck.  I managed to get it to heal pretty well, but I did lose a little spot of ink in a couple of places. I continually erupted with tiny pinhead bumps wherever I had new ink, even after it was seemingly completely healed.  I was so careful to use an extra gentle unscented shower gel so I wouldn't aggravate the site, and an unscented "natural" lotion to keep it moist while it healed. The more careful I was, the worse it got. My allergist said I must be allergic to the ink, which was disappointing because I have one more session to go.  I looked at my specialty shower gel yesterday, which I haven't used since the tattoo three months ago, and I saw wheat in the ingredient list as  hydroxypropyltrimonium  hydrolyzed wheat protein, along with oat kernel flour, and PEG-20 almond glycerides.  On their website, the company boasts soy as one of their active ingredients.  Soy.  I was putting my big offenders straight into my bloodstream every time I washed.  I had blind trust in these words:  "And it's soap-free, dye-free, fragrance-free and hypoallergenic, so it's gentle enough for sensitive skin."

Back to the salicylic acid.  I've been battling acne for 21 years or so. I had tried nearly every product on the market targeted at breakouts. My doctor told me to use the Neutrogena line of products, and I did. I had fewer breakouts, but I still had them. My bigger problem was the marks left behind after they cleared up.  I was consistently left with a little spot that was a different color than the rest of my skin.  I tried more salicylic acid to help peel away my "uneven skin tone" and speed the renewal process.  My skin felt great, and it looked younger, but the spots wouldn't go away.  They actually got worse, and my breakouts were back.  I stumbled upon a wiki about it, and salicylic acid has been shown to cause skin discoloration, and there is such a thing as a salicylic acid sensitivity.  May 1st I quit using all of my existing facial products and switched to Neutrogena Extra Gentle Cleanser and unrefined Shea butter.  I highly recommend this Shea butter. I bought a 2 lb block 7 1/2 weeks ago and I still have 2/3 of it left. I use it twice a day on my face, neck, hands, feet, tattoo areas and anywhere else I think I need some extra moisture. My skin loves it.  It's great for every part of you.  My acne is no longer a "problem" and I'm not embarrassed in public or staying out of photos.  My spots are fading and I'm hoping by the the end of the summer I'll have a nice, even skin tone.

My favorite GF salad dressing

Walden Farms makes a line of salad dressings, marinades, sauces and syrups that are calorie free, sugar free, fat free, carbohydrate free, gluten free and cholesterol free. I buy these two at a time from my local Sunflower Market.  Both their chocolate and caramel sauces pair perfectly with my non-dairy ice cream recipe for GF sundaes.

Bored with salads? Try this combo:  Toss together mixed greens, a handful of dried cranberries, some dried goji berries, 1 tbsp flax seeds, 1 diced apple or pear, shredded or crumbled cheese of your choice, shredded chicken (I grill extra to keep in the fridge for salads) and top with Walden Farms dressing.

Eggplant dip

Several years ago I held the title of "Outdoor Teacher" at a local Montessori school.  The school had a vegetarian, sugar-free and peanut-free policy.  The children in the infant through pre-K part of the school had access to a 17'X17' vegetable garden.  The 3 - 6 year-olds planted and harvested vegetables year - round.  Food prep is a standard element in the  Montessori pre-K classroom.  My job was to maintain a literal classroom outdoors, with shelves, tables and chairs including the garden.  Our long, dry season and predicable weather makes an outdoor classroom possible in Tucson.  We focused on science, art and building methods and materials.  One year I was gifted a pet rabbit.  The children and I used found sticks and materials to build a yurt for the bunny to live in the middle of the garden.  We planted radishes near her fencing so she occasionally had sprouts to nibble on.  Another year we had a particularly good harvest and we were able to cook a wonderful vegetable dish, in our solar oven, for our Thanksgiving feast.  The children peeled and chopped for two days.

My plots at home reminds me of the lessons learned from my outdoor classroom.   My four year-old son follows me out to check on the plants every chance he gets and comments on the progress of our seedlings and our plants. He independently planted some "mystery seeds" in one of our beds, seeds he found in the bottom of my tote, and he can't wait to find out what will grow from them. I suspect they're some variety of squash, and we should have enough of a growing season left to be able to leave see them mature.

Gardening is peaceful for me, minus the skin reactions I have to deal with  afterward.  Pollen must settle onto my plants because anything that brushes against me give me welts and a lovely burning, itching sensation.  Everything subsides pretty quickly once I get inside and wash up pretty well.  I pondered, while watering my eggplant plant, wether my home-grown vegetables will trigger OAS.  But then my thoughts switched to an easy spread I used to make with the preschoolers with our eggplants.  I can't eat hummus anymore, but this is a great alternative (for me) on bell pepper strips, carrot sticks and cherry tomatoes.  If you're not allergic to eggplant, give this a try.

Cut your eggplant(s) into 1" pieces. Microwave, bake or roast until tender and then cool completely.  In a blender or food processor,  combine eggplant,  4 cloves garlic (or more to taste) and 2 tbsp olive oil and mix until creamy.  Add more olive oil as needed for a smooth, spreadable consistency.  Salt and pepper to taste.  You can roast the garlic first if you like, and also try a squeeze of lemon juice in the mixture of you want a little zing. Spread on bread, crackers, rice cakes, corn thins, whatever you can safely enjoy.

An eggplant is actually a fruit, and a member of the nightshade family, with siblings such as tomatoes, peppers and potatoes.  It is a source of folic acid and potassium, calcium, vitamin A and iron, and it even offers some protein.  Stuff it, saute it, fry it, just try it.

Frozen treats

It was 104° yesterday. Here in Tucson, we spend most of our time and money trying to stay cool. On the weekends we stock up on Eegees, a local frozen treat. They're loaded with Vitamin C so I can justify them as being somewhat healthy. Unfortunately, an Eegee habit gets expensive, and they do not disclose all of the ingredients.

We also stock popsicles in both freezers. I know my kids aren't drinking as much water as they should to keep up with the heat, so I let them have low sugar popsicles. Safeway has a generic line of fruit flavored popsicles that we like better than Dreyers Fruit Bars, but we'll buy either depending on the flavors they have in stock. Both brands vaguely list "natural flavors" in their ingredients though.

One more treat comes around frequently in the summer: Smoothies. We buy frozen fruit at Costco, two different bags. I use the berry mixture without strawberries, and for the rest of the family we buy the mango-papaya-strawberry blend (I can't eat any of that!). The mango blend makes an instant sorbet if you can run it through the blender or a juicer while it's still frozen. To get it moving around in the blender, a little plain yogurt helps. It still comes out thick enough to eat with a spoon. If you want it drinkable, let the fruit thaw substantially and add some juice to the blender as well. After a workout I like to whip up a yogurt, frozen fruit, orange juice and coconut water smoothie. Hubbie gets a banana in his for added potassium.

It would seem that we have plenty of treat options to beat the desert heat, but I really have to make my foods count. I need more nutrients. I want something that tastes like a real treat. I want comfort food! I scoured the web for homemade ice-cream recipes and never did find what I wanted in an ice-cream. I want the creamy consistency but with low sugar and high nutrients. I also don't want to spend so much on heavy cream just to make a quart of fatty ice cream. For the cost of the cream I can sometimes find a sale on multiple gallons of prepared ice cream. But we have to keep focus. We are allergic to stabilizers, fruits, proteins and flavorings in prepared foods. Good news! I am developing a recipe for a homemade ice-cream made with your choice of almond milk or rice milk, and fresh summer fruits or your favorite flavoring.

Photo by iHateAllergies

For the first experiment, I'm adapting Emeril Lagasse's recipe for Fresh Peach Ice-Cream. I used vanilla almond milk instead of heavy cream, and only 1/2 cup of sugar because the almond milk is already sweet. Already we've cut sugar and avoided lactose. If you're allergic to tree nuts, use rice milk instead. This recipe uses cooked peaches, which may be OK for people with OAS. Can we please everyone? Unsweetened Blue Diamond Almond Breeze (Vanilla) is "Free of: Dairy, soy, lactose, cholesterol, peanuts, casein, gluten, eggs, saturated fat and MSG"! Read the label on your dairy free milk and choose whichever brand or type is safe for you.

This recipe is a great start. I was worried that the lack of dairy would create a gritty ice-milk. It's a little fluffy if you eat it when it comes right out of the freezer, but if you scoop it into a bowl and take your time eating it, you will enjoy the creaminess that you didn't think you could achieve without milk. You won't believe this dairy free when you try it. I chose almond milk for this recipe because it has higher numbers for the common nutrients, as well the added antioxidant benefits naturally occurring in almonds. I used a flavored almond milk to compensate for cutting most of the sugar out of the recipe, so the ice-cream tasted more like almond milk than peaches. The remedy for this problem is to add fresh diced peaches to the ice cream maker during the last few minutes of the mixing process.  Success! Personally, I think this is a great substitute for ice cream.  I am thrilled with the texture and my ice-cream is good for me.

Ingredients:
1/2 cup sugar

2 tbsp butter

7 peaches, peeled and diced (2lbs) plus one to mix in.

1 Quart non-dairy milk (Unsweetened Blue Diamond Almond Breeze Vanilla used here)

Emeril's instructions, adapted for my ingredients:

In a large saute pan, over medium heat, melt the butter. Stir in the sugar until it dissolves. Add the peaches and saute for 3 to 4 minutes, or until the peaches soften. Remove from the heat and cool completely. In a food processor fitted with a metal blade, puree the peach mixture until smooth. In a medium saucepan, over medium heat, combine the peach mixture and non-dairy milk. Bring the mixture up to a gentle boil. Add 1 cup of the hot milk mixture to the beaten yolks and whisk well. Add the yolk mixture back to the cream mixture and whisk well. Continue to cook for 4 to 6 minutes, or until the mixture can coat the back of a spoon. Remove from the heat, and pour into a glass bowl. Press a piece of plastic wrap to the cream mixture (this will prevent a film from forming) and cool completely. Pour the cream mixture into a frozen ice-cream cylinder and process according to manufacturers directions.

Note: This recipe creates a custard style mixture which gives this ice-cream a smooth texture and richness later. It may take longer than 4-6 minutes to get a somewhat creamy consistency, be patient and keep an eye on the pot so your mixture does not scorch.   1 quart liquid = about 1 quart ice-cream.  Cooking fruit releases juices, so this recipe gave me about 1 1/2 quarts of delicious peach ice cream.